Moth to a flame
by lindalove
Summary: River's been snatched by the Feds. Jayne's got no choice but to get her back. Sorry re slow updates am applying for a new job!
1. Chapter 1

Jayne buried his head in his hands and groaned. His fist was throbbing from that last punch he'd just thrown at Serenity's hull in his bunk. But the pain was nothing to the utter frustration he was feeling inside. Emotionally he was, he realised, totally fucked.

She had screwed him good and proper and now, he knew, he had no choice. Every part of him was screaming for him to leave the ship. Go after the gorram Feds. Kill them, kill anyone – do anything he had to - to find her.

It held no monetary value, nothing. No gain for him, except the promise of her body. If she was still alive. But he couldn't even consider that possibility. And he knew, he was beyond rational thought by the point. She had done her work on him well.

It had started all so long ago. Not innocently, of course, but Jayne never did anything innocently. It had been that short time after they had realised she had some kind of powers, after Jubal Early's visit. After that Mal'd never allowed her to be left alone. There was always someone'd have to be with her. So they took turns.

Inara, when Jayne, Mal and Zoe'd been on that job in Constance. Kaylee that time when Simon had had to fix up that knife wound one of Ott's boys had done to Jayne's arm.

But then, sooner or later, it had been his.

Ithad been a time when they'd been taking a break on a small farming terraform just a week out of Persephone. River had wanted to go walking by the lake, so Jayne had been assigned babysitter. He had followed along behind her, dragging his boots and grimacing like a petulant child. She had merely looked at him occasionally with that gorram spooky mixture of threat, sweetness and amusement, her skirts blowing in the wind.

Turned out however that the terraform also sported a gang of scavengers who'd not long been marooned there due to their ship crashing. Jayne heard them approaching, and soon had a gun on one of 'em and a fist on another. But they'd just been too many. Hours later they'd woken up, him and her, their hands tied, in the remains of their ships' bridge. The men'd started pumpin' for info on Serenity.

Things had been lookin' bad enough at that point. But when the girl had started to shriek about the blue hands, Jayne had known they were really in trouble. The scavenger chief heard the screams of his men by the lookout post, and soon headed off with a gang to find out what was going on.

But there was nuthin' anyone could do to stop the hands. Suffice to say, they never came back. Jayne n' River'dbeen alone.

Jayne'd done what he was best at. Saved his skin. He saw an opening in the hull, picked himself up, and went for it. Nervously, she followed, and soon the pair were holed up, standing close, in a gap between the inner and outer hull, their hands still tied behind their backs. Jayne meanwhile had managed to find a sharp which he had begun to rub against the binds around his wrist.

He had stopped however when he had heard the sound of footsteps back in the hold outside. Her eyes had widened, and she had begun to mutter as she panicked, the tears streaming out of her dark eyes.

"Shut up, moonbrain," he had hissed. The footsteps had hesitated, listening. But she had continued to gasp as she reached for breath, such was her fear.

And then it had begun. Jayne's eyes had looked around for a means to quieten her. His hands were tied. But he _had_ to quieten her. He had heard the screams from the scavenger gang, the terror in their voices.

But there was nuthin'. And his hands were tied. He was desperate.

So, to gag her, he had pressed his mouth to hers.

Immediately she had quietened, perhaps due to shock. But for a good couple of minutes they stood alongside each other, lips pressed, their chests heaving. Their ears attuned to any sound – any – outside.

The footsteps had come closer. Jayne had felt a trickle of sweat run down his face. But also, as he stood there, a shock of electricity went down his spine. The fear was combining with his natural instincts. And he could smell her all around him.

He hoped to god she wouldn't react as he felt himself harden. He knew that there was no way she couldn't feel it. His groin was pressed up against her thigh.

But sure enough, within moments he felt her push ever so slightly away from him with her body. Her breathing became more rapid. But she made no sound.

But he was far from prepared for what she did next. Perhaps due to shock, he had never known – she had raised herthigh and used it to startstroking himthrough his pants. His eyes had widened, his muscles had tensed. He had hardly dared breathe. And then, she had allowed her tongue to slip from between her lips, and had started to rub it slowly across his own.

Outside, the footsteps were only feet away.

For what seemed like an age, they did not move. She continued however to move her leg against his groin, and rub her wet mouth against his own, tightly pressed lips. His eyes started to roll in his head. The mixture of fear and pleasure was beginning to push him to his limits. For as much as every part of him was screaming to run away, get away from them gorram blue-hands and those screams - just as much of him what also urging him to slip his own tongue against hers.

But finally, the footsteps started again, and moved away. A minute passed, maybe two.

And then, with a swift, silent movement, he had pressed his tongue into her mouth, and pulled down her panties. She had kissed him, urgently. Then, ripping off his wrist binds, he undid his fly, and pushed inside her, forcing himself to remain quiet as he felt her slide easily around him. She had also remained totally silent, save for the fast exhale of breath she had allowed herself as he had entered her.

He had no idea if it was the relief as the danger passing, or some other subconscious urge that they were playing out, but as they rocked together in between the hull walls he felt his whole body surge with exhilaration. By this time his eyes were looking straight into hers. But hers were challenging, almost willing him to fuck her harder. So he had obliged.

Jayne had never been a one for sensitivity, but even he wondered momentarily if he was being too rough with her, as he pinned her arms back against the curving wall and thrust his whole length inside her. But she just carried on looking at him with those dark eyes, only occasionally rolling them back with what he was certain was raw pleasure. So he carried on, picking up his pace.

Presently he allowed himself a small moan as he felt the familiar first few pulses of orgasm grip him. But just as he did so, she pressed her arm against his mouth to quieten him. Her eyes continued to look deep into his.

The result was the most intense experience, as he came inside her, making not a noise save for the quiet creak of the hull in rhythm with his thrusts. The pulses in his groin seemed to go through his entire body, even through his skull. All during which she also said nothing, but simply arched her back and shuddered in a way he knew had had also brought her off. And then, as their breath had returned to them, he had pressed his forehead into her shoulder, utterly exhausted.

After that, she had simply pulled away from him, tidied herself, stepped back into the hold, and turned to face him, expectantly.

Her eyes told him: we have to go, tell the others about the hands. Get out of here.

There was no hint that the last few minutes had happened at all, in her face. In fact, he saw, herskin was barely flushed. His, on the other hand, was red. He was gasping with the exertion, his legs weak, his eyes struggling to focus. But she had started to pull at his shirt, urgently. He had recovered himself to a degree, and then with her run back to the ship as fast as his shaken body could go.

And after that, there had been nothing. Serenity had powered into the black, and she had returned to her room, and for at least the next few days, there had been normality. But not within Jayne.

Whereas before he had felt little but vague annoyance at her presence – now, whenever she entered the room, he felt a surge of excitement. He stared at her, his breathing quickened. He was transfixed by her, and what she had done to him. How she had made him feel. He had never had a woman make him lose himself like that.

She on the other hand, seemed no different. In fact, she barely looked at him. As the days passed, he began to be consumed by rage and confusion. But most of all, lust.

All she had said, in passing in the corridor one night, as he had felt the flames throb though his body at the very scent of her, had been teasing. "The moth don't care when he sees the flame…" she had whispered, in a breathy tone, her eyes flickering with a wild delight as she saw his chest heave.

There had been games after that. He had found her once in the galley, alone. Instantly the blood pumped into his heart as his whole body went onto alert. She has been standing against the units, slowly unpacking food tins from a box.

It was late, but not that late. There had been others around. But the madness that had started within him back on that burnt out ship demanded action. She had pretended to ignore him as he had moved around and caught her from behind, and pulled her hips into his. Within seconds his hands were grasping at his fly and the fabric of her clothes.

He had bent her over, pushed inside her. Again, she had said nothing, save for a small moan. But the ease in which he entered her told him she had been waiting for him. Hoping. He had started to move against her, quickly, one eye on his dark hand that was pressing against her ivory thigh, the other at the galley entrance.

Again, it was only moments after he had come that she had pulled away from him, given him a knowing smile, and then skipped away through into the corridor. Again, leaving him gasping for air, sweat on his brow. When Mal had wandered in only seconds later he had caught the merc a strange look. Jayne had been forced to say he had overdone his workout. But even as he had said it, his mind had already been wondering about where he would find her next. How next she would want him to fuck her, and how.

Normally after he had come he felt calmer, more settled. But as the weeks went on, and with them their meetings, he found he was feeling more and more unsatisfied. The only time he felt free of his desire for her, was in those few seconds that came after his orgasm. But minutes later, he would want her again. But she made him wait.

After a time he started to seek her out. But she seemed to enjoy this even more. Over the weeks, their encounters became more frequent still. Whereas it had been once a week, it had soon become each day. And then, a few times a day. Wherever he could find her. However.

He knew they were taking ridiculous risks. But he was obsessed with her. He didn't care as long as she made him shudder and groan. He fucked her in the hold, behind a wall of cargo boxes as Mal and Zoe chatted across the other side of the room. She had bitten his fingers to try and make him yell. But it had only added to it, as he kept it inside.

He fucked her on the bridge, when Wash had stepped away for only minutes to fetch a drink. One night he even came to her room and fucked her on the floor while her brother slept in the next room, only feet away. He had held her arms down and pushed against her, as she squirmed beneath him.

And every time she stared at him with those dark, challenging, but exhilarated eyes, that seemed to both plead for more - while question whether he was capable. It drove him mad.

Which is why, as Jayne now stood in his bunk, aware she had been taken from him finally by the Feds – snatched in Persephone while their backs were turned – he knew that only death would prevent him from finding her, holding her,and fucking her again. She had used his weakness against him in the most calculating way, he knew, to gain herself such a loyal protector.

An obsessed, consumed, loyal protector.

He slammed his fist into the wall one more time before grabbing Vera from her locks. Serenity was already on the trail, but he knew that of all of them, he was going to be the one who got her back.

She belonged to him.


	2. Chapter 2

On the bridge, hell was breaking loose. As Jayne strode in, his face set in a grim determination, the first thing he heard was Simon's urgent voice. "For god's sake Mal, we can't hang around. We have to get her back – now. Once they come for her .."

Jayne felt his body tense at the mere thought of them. The blue hands. Last time they had been so close – on that burnt out hulk of a ship. Moments later she had had her thighs around him. Now it was only a matter of time before the Feds handed her over to 'em. He felt a surge of rage go though his body. He _needed_ her…

Mal stood, leaning on the helm. Zoe and Wash were looking up expectantly – Wash from his seat, his wife behind him. Kaylee was standing in the corner, her mouth around her fist. Book was ever, quietly considering, and Inara stood elegantly beside him.

But they all started and turned, as Jayne again slammed his hand into the wall. For a moment he said nothing, but as he felt their questioning eyes on him, he turned like a coiled spring. "What?" he bellowed: "What he says makes sense. We're wastin' ruttin' time." But he was aware of the slight edge of desperation in his voice.

"For gorram's sake," he added, slightly more quietly, by way of explanation, "I ain't that dark. I don't want her head cut no more than anyone." He wasn't sure why he did, other that if she died, he wouldn't have her sliding underneath him anymore. It was too much to even think about. She had got into his _veins…_

He gripped his hand into a fist and shook Vera threateningly. River had only been gone a few hours, snatched by some Fed special agent as she had simply strayed a few feet from the boat, but already his body was feeling the withdrawal. His head was thumping. He had only been inside her that morning, but now it seemed like days….

Mal looked curiously at Jayne: "Well that's as may be, Jayne, but I ain't about to start riskin' us without knowing where the hell they've taken her and how long we got."

"I'll tell you," snarled the merc, "They'll have taken her back to the main HQ. But, she won't be there more than a few hours. Last time, on Ariel, they came within hours. _Hours._ So that's all we got. We ain't got time to screw around."

Simon looked at the big merc with confusion. But he then turned to Mal and spoke. "Much as I hate admitting it, but he is right. He was there last time, afterall. They want her, and as the Feds have already got her, that call will have already gone out. We've got _very_ little time. We have to just go, if we're going."

But Jayne was no longer listening. He knew already that this was something he would have to do on his own. Mal had the others to think of, of course. But Jayne only had one thing on his mind. Getting that body, and those gleaming eyes, back.

Within seconds, he had made up his mind.

"You know what?" he growled. And he raised his gun and pointed it directly at Mal. "I'm goin' after her, and I'm takin' the shuttle. And none of yous is gonna stop me.'

"Jayne!" cautioned Book, "That's suicide, as you well know. That's not your style.."

Mal said nothing. Zoe moved her hand toward her gun.

"I don't ruttin' care," muttered the merc, shifting his barrels slightly to focus on Zoe, who now stopped moving. And he knew, with all certainty, that he didn't. He didn't care about the crew, about the ship, even himself. He only cared about getting her back - at all costs. It was madness, he knew. But his whole body demanded her.

Serenity wasn't far from HQ – he could do that distance even is a short-distance boat.

For a moment there was silence. But then Simon spoke: "Then take me with you." Jayne grunted and swung his head to look at the doctor.

"No," he said, firmly. And, slowly, the big merc began backing away through the door.

Simon stepped forward. "Jayne," he said, "What if she's sick when you find her? Are _you _going to fix her?"

Jayne cocked his head and considered. At the end of the day, he realised, his guns would only get her free. If she was damaged, or hurt in anyway, he would be powerless. He felt the panic rise in his chest. She mustn't be damaged.

"Okay," he said, and then tipped his head back into the corridor. "Go get your stuff now though. I ain't hanging around. We're goin' _now_."

Simon turned, gave Mal a slightly guilty, apologetic look, but then fled. Mal meanwhile just continued to glower at Jayne.

The Captain then started to talk, with raw warning in his voice. "You take that gorram ship," he said, "and I'll _come _for you. I'll kill you, you untrustworthy piece of gosa. I should've known you'da done this again. Stuck the knife in my back."

Jayne sneered.

Mal continued: "But what I can't figure out is, why? There ain't no money in this for you, you're outmanned and outgunned, and you ain't got thesmarts to get into that HQ let alone dodge the blue hands. There's something botherin' you about that girl. Enough for you to ruttin' lose the few brains you had anyway."

Jayne shook his head; "I don't care about your theories, and I ain't explainin' nuthin' to you."

"Look," continued Mal: "Just give me a while to figure out a plan. We can all go in there and get her…"

"No," said Jayne. And as he said it, he thought to himself - she knew this would happen. She knew they'd be no gorram time to waste. She also knew that Mal'd feel torn between her and the rest. Take too much time.

It was why she fucked me up, he thought. The clever little bitch. The clever, hot little bitch. He felt the demand in his body rise at the thought.

Then, with a speed that caught even Zoe by surprise, he pointed Vera at the helm and fired. The crew dived for cover as a huge, sparking hold appeared in it, just as Jayne quickly stepped back and fell out of the door. He then slammed the door shut, blasted the lock so that it melted shut, and ran to the engine room.

It was with a slight tinge of guilt that he aimed Vera at Serenity's heart and fired. Enough damage to slow her. Not enough to kill.But once done, he grabbed his backpack and rushed to the shuttle, where Simon was already waiting, his head bowed.

"What?" barked the merc, and his heavy hands slammed urgently down on the shuttle lock, and twisted the steering wheel to the dot in the distance he knew to be the Alliance military HQ. Both men jolted in their seats as the small ship powered away.

"I feel…bad," said Simon, as his eyes turned to gaze at the retreating shape of the old ship. "He's done so much for us. And now we've left him."

"We had to," said Jayne, " You know as well as I do he'd be too late. He don't know what we do. He ain't seen – or _heard_ it. Heard them gorram screams."

"But – maybe we are rushing…" added the Doctor, uncertainly.

Jayne looked down at Vera, who was lying across his lap. He snorted: "Yep, we are, but we gotta go, gotta do it, whatever the danger."

And then, as he peered out into the black, he repeated her words. "Afterall, the moth don't care when he sees the flame…."


	3. Chapter 3

River blinked back the tears. Here she was again, back with the authorities. And she just knew – she could sense it – that _they_ weren't far. The hands. They were coming...

She sat back in the tiny, white cell the Alliance men had placed her, and gazed up at the single bar of light that glowed brightly overhead. She was wearing only a white tunic they had supplied. Everything else had been taken.

When _they_ came, it would be over, she knew. Not for her. There was a slower fate for her. But for all those that had already seen her, touched her. _They_ would kill them.

The Fed special agent who had grabbed her probably thought he was due a reward, she thought, bitterly. If only he knew. He had kidnapped her, but did he deserve….

A shiver ran down her spine, as she wrapped her arms around her long, pale legs. She pressed her forehead against her knees, and started to rock. To and fro, gently.

Presently, her mind moved on to the others. Serenity.

She knew that they would follow. Her only fear was that they would get here fast enough. The Captain cared for her, of course. But he had others to think of. The good of the few versus the good of the many. Was she worth the risk?

Simon would come, somehow. But without Mal, she also knew he was poorly equipped for rescue.

Her only hope – she knew – was _him_.

River closed her eyes. It had been as much as shock to her when she had first touched him that way on that dusty planet. But as he stood over her, pressed against her in that burnt-out hull, she had felt such an urge to reach out for him it had been impossible to resist.

The adrenalin in her system had come from fear. But when _they_ had moved away – she had acted like an animal. Grabbing for a comfort at a time of vulnerability.

She knew he wasn't her intellectual equal. No more than he – she knew – was really a _good_ man. But as it turned out, she found him physically attractive. And when he had pushed inside her that first time, his strong arms clasping her to his hard body, she had found the experience so enthralling she could not deny the feelings it stirred. He allowed her to lose herself, to be desired. But also _to_ desire, without complication. It was new, exciting.

She had also found it thrilling that such as powerful man could follow her around so slavishly, such was his addiction. A man so focused on satisfying his own need - to touch her - that he would put so much at risk. She felt such power. She was in control – not _them_. Not even Simon.

So she had allowed him to run his rough hands across her. Press his scarred skin against her own. Rest his weight on her. Leave himself inside her.

She knew he was little more than an animal - aselfish, murdering brute. But it both attracted and repulsed. He was a danger she couldn't resist, just as she was to him. She felt her breathing begin to quicken at the thought of his hard, tanned stomach - taut and damp with exertion.

She bit her lip and ran a hand to her abdomen. He had been inside her so many times – so now, when he wasn't – she felt a physical _pain_. It was strange. So it was with a slight twinge of sadness that she remembered.

Neither of them truly cared for each other.

She rolled her head back against the wall and gazed upward. But it was enough, she thought, that his own desires were now lending him to tear the verse apart looking for her, as she hoped he was.

It wasn't much- but it was something. She had to believe he would come. There had been a desperation in him, she had sensed, those last few times they had been together. He _had _to come.

The alternative was...too dreadful.. .to consider.

* * *

Back on Serenity, Mal had managed to prise the bridge doors apart. It had been a small victory however. When both he and Kaylee had seen the damage to the engine, they knew there was no question.

They were stuck.

They were both now standing in the engine room, their faces set in grim realisation.

Kaylee rubbed her hand along the rusted pipes of Serenity's heart, and wept. "I can't believe he'd do it. I thought – we was friends…" .

At the end of the engine, several substantial-looking wires had been shot straight through. Their remains now lay, melted, on floor.

Mal laid a hand on her shoulder. "C'mon. It ain't you he's hurt, Kaylee, it's River," he said, quietly. "We had a chance when it was all of us. That dumbass's already got 'em killed. But maybe not - if we can get her goin' quick. Get there before the men in charge. Can you do it?"

Kaylee wiped a grimy hand across her cheeks, wiping away the tears. She peered again at the wires.

"Well, Cap'n, he could'a done worse. But whatever we're lookin' at, it's a few hours work. And until then we're –"

"Dead in the water," interrupted Mal. " I know. Well, if it helps, its gonna take Wash just as much time to fix the gorram helm. It's now got a hole in it the size o' a fist, thanks to _Jayne_."

His eyes narrowed as he hissed out the name. Kaylee looked away from the engine, momentarily, and blinked.

"What'y gonna do about him?" she asked, hesitatingly.

"Well," Mal furrowed his brow and crossed his arms. "I'm –"

"Gonna do what you shoulda done months ago," interrupted a voice. Mal and Kaylee swung round to see Zoe, who was standing in the engine room entrance. Her face was dark, serious. She had a laser rifle in her hand.

"If we find him, if you ain't shootin' him sir, I _am_. He's left us here for dead. Without a gorram thought. He's a _snake_." She pressed her lips together.

Kaylee lowered her eyes. "Simon went too," she murmured.

"Yeah, but he wasn't thinking," continued Zoe. "He _hates_ Jayne. He was just desperate to get going, in any means possible. I've no doubt he's now questioning that. Because likelihood is he'd have at least _got_ to her with us. He may get there faster with Jayne. But I doubt they'll live to –"

"Zoe!" warned Mal. He flashed her a warning glare as Kaylee's face once again crumpled.

The soldier lowered her eyes. "What I meant was, he's been a fool. But at least he was thinkin' of his sister. God knows what Jayne was thinkin' of."

"Good question," replied Mal, walking towards Zoe with a determined look. "But when I do track that sommbitch down, I'm gonna find out. Right before.."

His voice wavered.

"Right before I gorram shoot that turncoat dead."


	4. Chapter 4

Simon closed his eyes and gripped onto his seat. His mind was racing, his breathing rapid. He had never naturally taken to life on a ship.

Of course he had learned to cope, but it had helped that Serenity was a least a decent size, and offered as least some protection from the vastness outside. But the shuttle in which he now sat was very, very much smaller. He was currently feeing very exposed against the now very visible backdrop of the endless universe through the shuttle window.

Simon was trying to control his breath. He concentrated on breathing deeply, slowly. Bringing the oxygen back to his blood and his brain, to calm him, help him to cope. But his attempts to relax were short lived.

"What's your gorram problem?"

Simon was now getting used to Jayne's regular gruff barks. Simon flicked open his eyes and glared at the man, who was sitting alongside him, hunched over the controls. He was wearing as ever his khaki jacket and pants. The shuttle's steering wheel looked small in his large, dark hands.

"If you _must _know, I'm feeling rather claustrophobic," started Simon, "and _not _a little stressed – on account that my sister's _life _is under _threat_."

He made no effort to conceal the sarcasm in his voice. "Does that answer your question?"

Jayne momentarily took his eyes of the window in front of him and glared back. In the distance, the Alliance HQ was growing ever more visible.

"Well," grunted Jayne, "I guess I shouldn't have expected you to be useful or nuthin'. I was hopin' you'd at least be a bit more ruttin' entertainin'. Afterall, things ain't gonna be too cunnin' for us when we catch up with the Feds."

Jayne narrowed his eyes as he added, deliberately: "Ain't no reason we'll get through this alive."

Simon immediately sat up in his seat. Part of him sensed the merc was playing with him, but the words had been enough. He _had_ to get through it. He _had_ to find her.

He immediately forgot about the vastness outside, and demanded: "Well, I assumed you had a _plan_."

Jayne's eyes returned to the window before him. He watched his own reflection as he slowly reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a cigar, which he then pushed between his lips.

"I have," he said, languorously. "Fly the boat, get the girl, be a hero." A shadow of a smile crossed his face, as he then flicked a light an ignited his smoke.

Since he had started on the mission to find her, he had felt better. At least he was now _doing_ something to get her back. With every second, he was closer to that body. Those long limbs…

His mind began to float back to those times before. If someone had said a few weeks ago he would have risked so much for a piece of skirt, he would have laughed. But he knew when he was beat. And there weren't no arguing with what lived in his pants, as it turned out. At least not this time…

His thoughts of her were interrupted however as Simon interjected..

"Is that _it_? I mean, what about when we get within the Alliance sensors? They'll at least want to know who we are. That is, assuming they don't just blast us on sight. I mean, you're not the pilot that Wash is. In fact I'm surprised you can fly this thing at all….."

Jayne, irritated, flashed the smaller man a glare. As he did so however he noticed how the younger man's colour was so similar to his sisters. The pale skin, dark hair. Of course their eyes differed…but it somehow comforted him.

Shame the gorramdumbass talked so much.

Simon continued: "I'm assuming of course that you can get the shuttle past them without us being spotted? I mean, we do have to get _inside_…assuming she's there at _all_…"

Jayne had had enough.

"Look," Jayne waved a hand towards the Doctor. "All you need to worry about is lookin' after yousel'. She'll be there. I know, 'cos it's the closest and best guarded Alliance HQ within swift path of Persephone. But when we do go in, things are gonna move fast. I can't keep an eye on you as well as do what I gotta do. So just go along with whatever I say, okay? Otherwise," and his voice took on a threatening tone, "you're gonna die."

He sucked on his cigar for a moment before reaching inside his jacket. Simon started as he then pulled out a laser pistol.

Jayne added: "And no tryin' to drug me or nuthin'…"

Simon tensed. "There's no need to…" he started. But then, he watched with confusion as the merc turned the gun around and proffered it to the Doctor.

Jayne looked at Simon, whose blue eyes had widened like saucers. "What?" grunted the merc. He gently shook the pistol in his hand. "You'll be needin' this."

Simon was amazed. He had thought, for a moment….

He exhaled, before replying: "I think…we already established at Niska's…I'm no gunman."

Jayne shook his head, grimly. "I think you'll find we'll..esta..est... _find out_ y'are - when you got ten or so men firin' at yer."

Simon peered closely at the bigger man, looking for evidence that he was again playing games. He was slightly horrified to see however that Jayne had said the words with utter seriousness.

He was fully expecting, it was obvious, a very serious firefight.

Oh god, thought the Doctor. But then, what did I expect?

He started to murmur to himself: "Maybe we should have waited. Come with Mal. Maybe that way we could be certain in finding her. Maybe things would have been.."

"Safer?" Jayne's fierce voice once again broke though. "You really think so, y'dumbass? Because from what I've seen of these gorram blue hand people, there ain't no way to tackle this safely."

For a moment, Jayne's words hung in the air. However he then looked across at the Doctor again, as if considering whether to say any more.

Presently, he laid the pistol down on the helm, in front of the younger man. Then he added: "Look. I feel bad for what I did to the boat's engine. Kaylee's a sweet girl. Pretty. Hell, too ruttin' good for stuck-up gosa like you."

The merc caught the Doctor a hostile glance before he continued: "But. If I'm gonna do this I've gotta get there without Mal or any o'the others on my back, slowing' me down. There's just," The big man hesitated, momentarily, "There's jus' to much to lose."

Simon said nothing.

He felt both frustrated and annoyed that he had felt he had no choice but to rely on this man, who he both disliked and distrusted. But at the same time, as he looked at Jayne's profile - with that defiant, jutting jaw and those focused, resolute eyes - Simon knew he was also every so slightly intrigued.

He still had no idea why Jayne had decided to take this course of action which, to all sense and purposes, was madness.

It was true what Book had said. This was uncharacteristic. Jayne was no coward, but he also never stayed for a serious fight from which he could run. He also never bothered to fight where money was not the driving factor. So why – why was he now putting so much at risk for a girl he professed to hate?

There was obviously – something underfoot. There was something else that was driving the man. Something….suspicious. Not _concern_ for him or River - that was too laughable. But what else, and how to find out? Simon looked at the big man and wondered.

He remembered Ariel. The lies he had told.

Simon had to be careful, he knew. He had acted perhaps stupidly at coming with the merc, but when he had made the decision, it had been one made only from his desire to reach his sister as fast as possible. It was no good feeling guilty about Mal.. or Kaylee. Now he was here, he would have to make the most of it.

Slowly, he reached out, and took the pistol from the helm. Jayne didn't flinch.

Well, thought Simon, at least I can shoot him if he tries anything. But then, he thought, why would he give me a gun if he meant me harm?

It was this thought, and also perhaps a urge to share his own fears, that then led Simon to lower his guard for a moment. He opened his mouth, and his voice trembled.

"Do you think we'll really – find her?"

At the spoken reference to River, Jayne shifted uncomfortably in his seat. Also a strange, slightly pained expression came over his face. Simon noticed the change, but said nothing.

He was relieved however when he heard the absolute certainty and belief in Jayne's reply.

"I will," said the mercenary, his voice leaden, "If it's the last gorram thing I ever do."


	5. Chapter 5

River looked across at the Fed special agent. His face was, as it always was when he came to question her, as grey and as serious as hers. But he also had a slight glint of self-congratulation in his eyes. As if he expected a reward.

River looked down at her feet and said nothing. She knew his prize would come soon enough.

"You've got only a couple of hours," the man was saying. He stood over her, as she sat on the floor in her white room. He was wearing not the normal grey uniform, but his own clothes, but he still held himself in that way. The way of the military. A cog in a machine.

"And then they'll be here," he continued, "They're coming to pick you up,"

River felt her eyes prick with tears at the thought of them again. How many times did she have to face this? Ariel…then with Jayne, on the planet. And now, again. Would it ever be.._over_?

At least she had been with Jayne that one time, when the blue hands had walked but a few feet away.Now, bizarrely, that memory comforted her.He had held onto her, accepted her reactions to the fear they instilled in her, for what they were. Enjoyed them, yes. But not questioned. Perhaps only Jayne understood now the power they had over her, she thought. Or at least accepted her as a the person she really was. Flawed. Confused. Sexual. But still - strong.

She was surprised to feel a urge for his presence. Physical closeness breeds familiarity, she thought.

The man was still talking. "Now – I've got orders not to speak to you. But my feeling is that, the amount of importance the top men put into trying to find you, you're pretty valuable. I just wish I could figure out why…"

He gave a wide, amused smile. "Any chance you feel like telling me?"

River sighed and turned her face away. It had been like this since they had brought her in. She was left for a few minutes, and then he came back. To press her for information she could not give, for his own purposes.

Or worse, taunt her about the men coming to collect her. He seemed to know they were – dangerous.

"I think they have others, from what I can tell. Like you," he continued. He had now lowered himself onto his haunches, close to where she sat. He was almost purring, such was his delight in her upset. "But I'm not sure. I do know though that you seem to be a _favourite_."

He stopped for a moment, gazed closer at her face, which was largely hidden behind a curtain of dark hair. At which point, he reached out a hand, and pulled some of it back. River flinched.

"They've done something to you, haven't they," he murmured, quietly. "Something to make you – _useful._"

River simply glared, before automatically pulling away. She shifted herself further along the wall, away from him. Then she looked at her tormentor, with an expression she hoped was one of hatred and pity. Hatred for where he had brought her. Pity for the time she knew - the red would seep from his nails.

"Run away then, pretty," said the man. "But there's no escape. We've got you back, and no doubt within time we'll also get your brother. Afterall, he seems unable to give you up. The fool."

River looked at him, almost willing to visualise the blood that would soon pour from his eyes. She then opened her mouth.

"You wait for the waterfall," she said, her voice gaining bite. "You speak, but no one will listen. You can only drown."

The man had two guards who stood behind him, at the cell door. At her words, they looked at each other. Confusion. But also - from her tone – fear. River felt it from them. She gave a slight smile.

The man, however, said nothing. He continued to look at her with the same alert, but marginally amused, expression.

"Fairly tales," he said. "Just fairy tales, in your head. But the biggest fairy tale is that you think they're coming from you. Because, my lovely, they're not,"

He leaned closer, so much so that she could feel his breath on her neck. "Every man in this station knows what your brother looks like. And every man has a gun. There's _no way_he can make it to you _alive._"

* * *

"Kaylee?" Mal's voice echoed down the corridor into the engine room. "Kaylee? I need an update – " 

"Done."

It was the mechanic's voice, muffled beneath Serenity's engine. She rolled herself out from underneath the red and yellow mix of metal and wires that made up the heart of Mal's aging ship. "Fixed. Now I ain't promisin' no Crazy Ivans, but we can at least follow the shuttle – if that's what we're doin'?"

"Of course," Mal replied. "Wash has done the best he can on the helm, though it ain't gonna be winnin' no beauty competitions. But either way, we can at least power her now, and point her in the right direction."

Mal immediately turned on his heel and headed back into the corridor, and then into the galley, where Zoe and Wash were both waiting.

Wash looked up; "Ready?"

Mal nodded, at which the pilot rose from his seat and headed up and out towards the bridge. Meanwhile, Mal lowered himself into his now vacant seat, and looked across at his number two.

Zoe had already pulled out a couple of glasses which she now proceeded to fill with liquor. Meanwhile, the hum of Serenity's engine began to fill the room, as she prepared to move off toward the Alliance HQ.

"Sir,"Zoe started. Mal could tell by the tone of her voice what was now coming. "Well, my first question is, how are we gonna make sure we don't get caught by the Feds in this here plan of yours? Last time I looked, we were still on an Alliance warrant."

She picked up her glass, drained it, and then lowered it back down. "Second," she continued, "even if we do manage to get there in time, how we gonna get inside the ship plus find the girl? That is, if we don't get shot on the way by some o' them purplebellies…."

"Okay," Mal raised a hand. "Okay. I get your concern. And truth be told, I ain't exactly figured everything out just yet. But I do know that we can't leave that child in their hands. And whatever way you look at it, we gotta get nearer."

"But they'll spot us a mile off. Catch us out. Somethin' that Jayne either hasn't thought of or doesn't seem to care…"

Mal grimaced at the name. "Yeah, well. But maybe not. For whatever he has got planned, you mark my words, he'll not be that stupid. He ain't made it this long without havin' some smarts. Grant you, not many, and most o' the ones he does have revolve around killin' folk, but then it's surprisin' how far violence can get you. So they'll be somethin' workin' in that sommbitch's devious head."

"Okay. But where does that leave us?"

"Well," Mal sat back in his chair and looked at the ceiling. "Here's what I think. I think that we can get in under pretence of bein' there for sumthin' else. Like Ariel. So. Difficult to dress the ship up now as anythin' other than she is. So my figures are, we get pretty close, then drop her. Then you and me go the rest of the way on our own steam."

"That'll mean only a few of us are put at risk," continued Mal. "It's too much to ask Inara and Kaylee to come. Book – well maybe. He's a suspiciously good shot. But really, all I need is you. Me and you, like old times. Get in, find her, get out. And ideally, also pick up the Doc somewhere on the way."

"Okay," Zoe mused, "…but that's still leaves the rather difficult question of - _how_? Take Inara's shuttle…? And also – are we actually gonna be shootin' these people? Because the moment we kill a Fed, then that's a world of trouble on all our shoulders…."

"We got trouble enough, Zoe," interrupted Mal, "The moment that girl came on board. So I ain't gonna worry too much about gettin' us in too much deeper. But all the same - I ain't plannin' on no killin' unless there's no choice. I'm talkin' undercover. But as for takin' Inara's shuttle – no. There's another way in. It involves takin' a risk or so, but we can make it."

He picked up his glass and started to drink. "Thing is, it means we gotta make some noise….."


	6. Chapter 6

Jayne looked out of the shuttle window at the looming monolith that now rose up before them. Finally, they had arrived.

Alliance HQ.

His eyes peered closer at the station'shundreds of glowing windows, that were as tiny glowing spots against its grey-black surface. He was already wondering which of them sheltered the woman who had so trapped him with her ways and charms. The girl, whose every detail of her physical form, was etched on his mind.

River.

Even now, at the thought of her, his heart had once again begun to beat in his ears. Like a animal on a scent, he could feel his senses grow increasingly alert, to match the low scale demand his body always carried for hers. It was sure he could already feel her presence, nearby. She was in there. _Waiting._

Jayne had flown as close as he dared to the towering space station. He was, he knew, just out of sensor range. Although not, he now thought nervously, out of reach of their weapons. Of course, he knew that it was very rare for the Alliance to fire on a ship without at least checking first who was onboard.

Rare, of course. But not impossible.

But now they were close, he knew what he had to do.

He looked down at his jacket, and began to pull it off his shoulders.

Simon, meanwhile, was sitting at the back of his shuttle, his eyes closed. The close atmosphere of the tiny shuttle had begun to overpower him over the preceding hour. But at he sensed movement from the big man, who was standing but a few metres from him, his eyes opened.

"So," he now muttered, his brow furrowing with curiosity as he watched the merc's muscular shoulders rotate as he shook off his coat. "What now?"

For a moment, Jayne said nothing. His thoughts were still wrapped in visions of her. He could swear he could almost feel her mind in his. She _had_ to be there. A film of sweat had appeared on his brow. He _needed_ her.

Presently, however, Simon's words filtered into his conciousness.

"We follow my chain of command," he growled in reply, as he also reached down to pull off his boots. "In that, you do whatever the hell I say."

Simon pressed his lips together. He had been uncomfortable from the very beginning about following Jayne. He was even more uncomfortable about trusting him. "Okay. But just tell me. Are we going somewhere? You see, I'm not sure I feel totally happy…."

"I don't care," muttered Jayne. As he spoke, he pressed a bundle of material into Simon's chest. "But put that on."

Simon looked at the merc. He could see from the bigger man's face, his mind was far from here. There was a grim determination – no, _concentration _on his face. But also – Simon could also see, ever so slightly – _fear_.

For a moment, the Doctor opened his mouth to speak again. To ask, what they were about to do. Or at least, what _Jayne _was about to do. But as he did so, he considered what on earth he could really say to improve his situation. He knew that he was, at this point, without ideas. He was also out of his depth.

For all of his medical training, he had no idea how they were going to get into that huge monolith without being killed.

He hated this man, this unsubtle,murderous brute. But at the same time, he knew in that moment that he _had_ to follow him. For Jayne, he hated to admit, was in this instance, the man with the superior skill. No one could doubt Jayne's ability, afterall - to _survive_.

Furthermore, he also sensed that at the moment, that last thing Jayne needed were questions. For Simon had noticed how his big hands were ever so slightly shaking as he zipped up his new attire, and reached for his headgear.

So, despite his million questions and fears, Simon simply bit his lip, duly turned, and started to pull on his own suit. Within a few minutes, both were dressed.

At which point, Jayne suddenly turned to the smaller man, with a surprising look of vulnerability on his normally mean, dark face.

"Now," he said, in his trademark gravelly tone, "I think we already figured we don't like each other too much. However, when it comes t'playin' the hero, you best leave it to me. So when I tell you to say nuthin', do it. And when I tell you to move, do it. If you don't, could be the death of us both. Understood?"

Simon nodded, slowly. He could feel the tension in the air. It was filling the small shuttle, making him feel the initial panic of claustrophobia.

"For just a little while," Jayne was continuing, his voice trembling, "We gotta trust each other some. Jus' a bit. Now I don't like the gorram thought o' that, considering you're pretty much close to useless, unless some sommbitch got themselves shot, but it's the truth. The breakin' and enterin' is my gorram smarts, 'kay?"

Simon's mind started to race. Breaking and entering? But, he thought, we're nowhere near close enough to -

But even before he could form the thought, Jayne slammed his hand down on the shuttle's thrusters, propelling both them and the small shuttle directly towards the Alliance monolith.

Simon had vowed to remain quiet. But the shock was too much. "Jayne – "he started, but his voice was interrupted by the immediate crackling of the shuttle's comm.

"Unidentified C-class shuttle, please report…."

Simon glanced down at the helm, his eyes like saucers. "Jayne," he again blurted. "They've seen us! This is...stupid! What are you…?"

But the shuttle was still careering towards the station exterior. They were but a few hundred metres now form its shadowy hull. And, undoubtedly, its immense arsenal.

The doctor's eyes rose back up from the helm to his hulking shipmate. At which instant, Jayne grabbed him roughly around the neck, and lifted him off his feet. He then stepped towards his own comm, slammed it into life, and pressed Simon's face into the viewer.

Simon spluttered: "Let go -!"

But it was too late. Already he saw two grey-suited men peering back through the viewer at him, their eyes on stalks.

"Hey, you Feds," barked Jayne. "Jayne Cobb, here, with my good friend Simon Tam. Sister of River, you know, you're favourite freakin' moonbrain? Anyway, I've got this baby ship of mine aimed right at your life support hub."

Jayne roared his final words. "So you'd best start talkin' - or shoot us down."

* * *

From outside the ship, there was silence. The blackness, as ever, enveloped every sound. So not even a tiny whisper accompanied the view of the tiny shuttle, as it careered ever closer to the Alliance station. 

The tiny shuttle, one moment flying, was suddenly met with a flash. A glowing line, pulsing from the looming towers, hit its underside. For a split second, there was nothing.

Then, a white explosion.

* * *

River Tam sat inside her cell, her eyes open, yet unseeing. 

She opened her mouth, and screamed.


	7. Chapter 7

The next thing Simon knew was a vague feeling of floating. This went on for a while, from what he remembered – but for how long, he was later unable to recollect.

Just as he was later unable to remember how exactly he came to find himself in an atmosphered airlock, fully spacesuited, looking at the boots of the merc he knew he both distrusted and hated.

But find himself thus he did. In an airlock, he soon discovered, that was one of the many carried by the Alliance HQ.

At the moment of waking however, Simon was both disorientated and wary. Blinking quickly, he groggily raised his eyes to look more closely at his companion. Jayne was standing, already half out of his suit, his eyes peeringkeenly through the internal airlock door.

His hands were quickly unwrapping Vera from the rucksack that he carried. Checking her. Loading. Looking for men to shoot.

It soon dawned on Simon where they were. They were in. Somehow, they had made it into the station. "What the hell…" murmured the Doctor, his voice barely audible through his suit's helmet visor, "happened…?"

Jayne's eyes flitted from the door window to Simon, to Vera, and then back. " I tell y'what happened, you ruttin' dumbass," he growled, a hint of amusement in his voice, " I saved y'gorram sorry-ass life. How's that for smarts?"

At which point Simon soon regained his composure, pulled off his helmet, and raised himself to his feet. All the time asking the merc how they had managed to escape, what the hell happened...how?

"S'easy," the big man finally retorted, as he packed his suit tightly into the bag from which he had previously hidden his gun, "No easier way to get a man offa your back than make out he killed y'already. I knew they'd gorram blast us once they saw who we were on the monitor. Afterall -who needs the brother and some other sommbitch when they've got the main prize already? That is, the..girl. So I figured, let 'em blast us, think us dead, while we make with the escapin' - jus' before the artillery hits home."

Simon stood for a moment, uncomprehending. But slowly, as the realisation of what had just happened infiltrated his mind, his jaw dropped. Slowly, a dull rage moved into his eyes.

"You mean – your whole plan – was based on – a hunch?" he spat. "The whole 'breaking and entering' – on a guess they wouldn't capture us, but rather kill us?"

Jayne looked at the airlock window one last time, before once again flitting his eyes toward the younger man. There was a look of defiance in his eyes as he replied: "Pretty much. Problem?"

He reached into his jacket pocket again to nonchalantly pull out another cigar."I mean, afterall, we are on the gorram station ain't we?We just jumped offa the shuttle and floated away to the nearest airlock hatch. And so far, no gorram purplebelly's come lookin'." Jayne smiled. His mind was already searching for the girl. "I'd say we pulled it off."

Simon could hardly believe it. He'd put his faith in this man to survive, to get them on board. But not with such a risk. Such disregard for what could have so easily happened. Them, being boarded, taken prisoner – killed. Where would that have left River?

"How could you be so – stupid?" he barked, unable to rein back his true feelings. And then – perhaps due to the relief, or the tension - Simon vocalised the question he had for so long decided to avoid.

"Why the hell are you here anyway? Why do you want to help my sister at all?"

Almost instantly, Jayne's eyes levelled themselves directly at the Doctor.

"Whaadya mean?" he asked, threateningly. But despite himself, there was a hint of something else in his voice. Something that Simon – at least subconsciously – now recognised.

Guilt.

"No, Jayne - I'm asking the questions." The younger man was also now stripping off his suit, as he also searched for the pistol that he had previously pushed into the back of his pants. His mind knew that they needed to move, get started. But his heart was still recovering from the shock of what had just happened. It needed answers, answers he realised he had been reticent to ask before, for fear of what the merc may have done.

Now - at that moment - he didn't care.

"Why are you here anyway?" spat Simon. "It's not as if you give a damn what happens to either of us anyway. It was fair enough when you helped me get this far, to get her back. But that last stunt – that wasn't the act of a man helping. That was the act of a man _desperate_. Or stupid. What's it all for?"

Jayne looked down at his feet. He had been all ready to start up, out of the airlock, start firing. Not _talking_. So he was totally caught off guard by the Doctor's sudden, emotional attack. There was enough already to deal with. This was a conversation he didn't want at the best of times, let alone now.

In any normal circumstance, he would have simply laughed. Perhaps allowed himself to strike the younger man. But somehow, the Doctor's words had struck a chord within him, touched on an emerging vulnerability yet explored. A chord which now made him feel as if he needed to offer an explanation.

"Well, maybe I felt bad, y'know, 'bout Ariel," he murmured, lamely. "Maybe I felt like helpin'."

As he said it however, he knew it didn't ring true. He tried again.

"I mean, I gotta idea what the girl copes with…."

Simon's eyes widened. "You think you have an idea of what she _copes_ with?" His voice was incredulous. "Do you realise, that without me, she has no one? And without her – I have no one either? We're both – alone."

Jayne shifted uncomfortably in his boots. "Look, not that we got time for this ruttin' gosa, but you _do_ got them fancy parents o' yours..."

"Those 'fancy parents' to whom you allude - gave up on me the day I decided to come for River. No doubt they're still under the illusion she's still studying at the Academy. Imagining the real use of the word – not the 'studying' that involves cutting into her brain over and over again, until she.."

"Okay, Doc, get the picture." The merc shook his head angrily. He knew well enough what she had been though. It just wasn't his style to dwell on it. I mean, she had seemed happy enough - when she had been screwing him. He lived for the moment, afterall.

"Do you, though Jayne? Do you? You say to me now you're sorry, but are you really - for what you tried to do?"

The younger man took a step forward. "You tried to hand her _over_. Despite the fact you saw as clearly as I did what they did do her.What sort of man would want to hand us back."

Again, Jayne felt another surge of anger. He had acted wrongly, then, he knew. But only because he hadn't realised until then what a cat she was. How gorram gorgeously her legs fitted around his waist.

"Well, hell, that was before I got to know her some…"

Again, Simon looked incredulous. "But you've barely _spoken_ to her. Which is why I still can't figure out why you're here at all. You don't _do_ things for people. Especially not those who don't pay you or you don't know."

The mercenary knew that already he should have stopped talking. Afterall, it wasn't for this man to know why he was here. But somehow, the fact that this man was questioning him - his actions, his intentions - was irritating him. Worse, he was talking about something he knew nothing about. Treating him like gosa, when the fact was that his sister had been coming to him for weeks to get her thrills.

So he growled menacingly as he replied: "I speak to her some! Just not with the words. With the eyes."

He had meant to unsettle Simon, to somehow hint that perhaps he did not know his sister as well as he thought. But the tone at which he had actually said the words had come out wrong. Rather than sounding sly, he had sounded defensive. Partly because, as he said it, he realised how true that had been, back on the ship.

He missed her body, yes. But he also did miss those big dark eyes.

Simon failed to hear the glaring admittal in Jayne's words however. Instead, he snapped: "Really. What on earth would she say to someone like you. Besides – A is for apple…B is for.."

"Careful." Jayne also now stepped up toward the younger man, his hand gripped tightly around his gun."You don't know everything she does. She's said stuff to me."

Jayne thought of the time he had last slept with her, in his bunk. How she had pushed her hands across his naked chest, her fingers gripping the hair as she had come. But then afterwards, how she had smiled. Her face like a bright light in hisdark, empty room.

His voice lowered as he murmured: "She looks me in the eyes. You don't know nuthin'."

And then, almost meekly: "Now let's just stop this gorram waste o' time and get goin'."

Simon meanwhile, hesitated. He was beginning to regain his composure. And because of this, finally he had noted the tone of voice that had begun to creep into Jayne's words. And it had begun to register that something, somehow, was amiss. Jayne's strange selfless actions. His foolhardy plan to get into the space station. And now, some kind of attempt to argue that he had a connection with a woman Simon knew was many, many times his intellectual superior.

This is strange, he thought. Jayne is fighting me, but not. It's almost as if - he trying to tell me...

Slowly, realisation dawned across his face. His jaw dropped.

"Have you got some kind of crush on her?" he asked, letting out a small, slightly hysterical, laugh."Is this what this is all about?"

Now it was Jayne's turn for his eyes to widen."No. Gorram it. I don't get gorram crushes," But as he said it, he knew then and there that somehow, somewhere, a sort of truth had just been spoken. The realisation unsettled him - and Jayne hated being unsettled. His eyes darkened.

Angrily, he barked: "I kill people."

"I know you do," Simon laughed. "But you still do have a crush on her. I can see it now. It's so _obvious_, if sickening. This isn't about money. Because it's about your sad and pathetic attempt to get something nice and clean - to care for a filthy dog like you."

Jayne's head started to whirr. Up until this point, everything had been so clear. He was going to come on board, find her, escape - so he could fuck her again. But now, although he couldn't deny the strong physical urge he had for her - he knew also in his heart that there was another driver also at play.Something else was driving him to find her, something unfamiliar.Something he did not want to think about.

So he growled: "Shut UP."

But Simon was on a roll. He sensed he had hit on a vulnerability."Do you think this will impress her? Because when we come though that door there's only going to be one of us who she runs for, Jayne. Me."

Again, the merc growled: "So what?" But his eyes spoke a different story.

"Yes, go on, Convince yourself. But you know it's true. It's why you hated that fact Kaylee likes me. Because you know, no woman in their right mind would ever come for you. Not unless," Simon added, "You paid them."

Finally, it was too much. Jayne had heard enough.

"I fucked her," he muttered.

"What?"

"I've been fucking your sister for weeks. And she's ruttin' loved it."


End file.
